Modern science confirms something many generations have intuited: performing everyday tasks such as cooking, organizing, managing expenses, and making decisions prevents cognitive decline. When others do everything for an older person, they not only relieve them of responsibilities but also of purpose.
If the current home is too large or difficult to maintain, the solution is not to move in with the children, but to adapt the space: a smaller apartment, a more comfortable home, but one of their own. Having one’s own space is a powerful emotional anchor.
Why the children’s house should be the last resort
Moving in with the children while still independent often seems like a loving decision, but it frequently ends up damaging the relationship. The children’s house has dynamics, schedules, tensions, and routines that are not always compatible with the emotional needs of an older person.
By losing one’s own space, one also loses privacy, authority, and, over time, identity. Forced cohabitation can transform an older adult into a permanent, dependent, and silent guest, even when surrounded by people.
Furthermore, there is a frequent risk: becoming the permanent caregiver for grandchildren simply to “be available,” which ends up exhausting someone physically and emotionally, someone who has already completed their child-rearing phase. Family bonds are strengthened more through chosen visits than through imposed cohabitation.
Moving in with children should only be considered when there is severe physical dependency and no professional care alternatives are available. Before that point, relinquishing autonomy often comes at a very high cost.
Living with peers: a growing alternative worldwide
For those who do not wish to live alone or move in with their children, there is an increasingly valued option: living with people of the same stage of life. Known as cohousing or peer cohabitation, this model combines independence with companionship.
